you say i'm boring, i say go to hell

i’ve agreed to go out with an old friend tonight to have a few drinks. i have a sneaking suspicion that she is going to suggest we go to the library. normally i would put up some sort of a fight and recommend that we go elsewhere, but i'm not really in the mood to expend that kind of energy tonight.

i'm feeling rather anti-social these days... more so than usual. anything involving more than three people generally gets a "no thanks, i'll pass" reply out of me. i think that i am just becoming more of a homebody as time goes on (or lame, depending on how you look at it).

i'm not afraid to say it - i like staying in. the problem with that is that no one else ever wants to do it with you. of course i really don't have a place to whine about this - since i am living such a nomadic lifestyle. it's just that i have better music and there are far fewer annoying people than anywhere else out there. oh yeah, and there aren't any whores/sororistitutes at my place... which may or may not be a good thing, i can't really tell anymore.

maybe i should find some friends who like sitting around and getting drunk while listening to "disintegration", "the lonesome crowded west" and/or "pablo honey."

don't get me wrong - i like doing things - i just have been so frustrated with my situation that i really can't suggest we hang out at my house - since i no longer have a house.

not looking for sympathy at all - just venting through my blog.

:D

you know i'm bored when i start doing shit like this

1. What is the geekiest part of your music collection? Huey Lewis & The News Time Flies: The Best of Huey Lewis & The News.

2. What do you eat when you raid the fridge late at night? cold tortillas with peanut butter and/or applesauce.

3. What is your secret guaranteed weeping movie? Finding Neverland, every fucking time.

4. If you could have plastic surgery, what would you have done? i'd probably have them tone down my rugged good looks a little. sometimes, it's just too much.

5. Do you have a completely irrational fear? umm - yes all of them are.

6. What is the little physical habit that gives away your insecure moments? spontaneous urination and/or nail biting.

7. Are you a pyromaniac? not since rehab

8. Do you have too many love interests? that going to depend on whether or not stalking counts.

9. Do you know anyone famous? i don't want to answer this.

10. Describe your bed. empty. desolate. horribly under-used. lego sheets.

11. Are you spontaneous or planned? depends which side of my brain wins that day. usually a little planned.

12. Who would play you in a movie? John Cusack

13. Do you know how to play poker? i know how to lose at poker. does that count?

14. What do you carry with you at all times? wit, sarcasm, charm, etc.

15. What do you miss most about being a kid? Kenner my imaginary friend.

16. Are you happy with your given name? i'm not a huge fan of my middle name, but I like the Brandon and the Green parts.

17. How much money would it take to get you to give up the Internet for one year? not enough. without the internet, i would be forced to experience the abyss that is my own life.

18. What color is your bedroom? this shitty looking blue color that my sister painted it.

19. What was the last song you were listening to? Ben Gibbard - the acoustic version of "Recycled Air"

20. Have you ever been in a play? yes, back in elementary school. i think i played the Captain of a ship in one of them. i was a cow in the other one. we did really fucked up plays in that school.

21. Have you ever been in love? unfortunately.

22. Do you talk a lot? only when someone wants me to shut up.

23. Do you like yourself and believe in yourself? fuck yes. i kick ass.

25. Do you consider yourself to be a nice person? most of the time.

26. Do you spend more time with your girlfriend/boyfriend or your friends? neither.

27. What is your ideal marriage location? anywhere but in a church.

28. Which musical instrument do you wish you could play? drums.

29. Favorite fabric? felt

30. Something you love and hate? my face.

31. What kind of bedding do you use? soft kind - usually from Pier 1.

32. Do you tell your friends about your sex life? that would require me to have a sex life in the first place. so, no.

33. What's the one language you want to learn? Japanese. cursing in English is losing its appeal.

34. How do you eat an apple? usually with my mouth. who writes these fucking questions?

35. What do you order at a bar? sunshine wheat or blue moon.

36. Have you ever pierced your body parts? nope.

37. Do you have tattoos? not yet.

39. Do you drive a stick? no.

40. What's one trait you hate in a person? ignorance.

41. What kind of watch do you wear? i buy lots of watches but never wear them.

43. Do you consider yourself materialistic? not if you don't count CDs and DVDs.

44. What do you cook the best? migas

45. Favorite writing instrument? wooden pencils. Jesus Christ, you really suck at writing questions.

46. Do you prefer to stand out or blend in? depends on how many shots i've done.

47. Would you ever go out dressed like the opposite sex? probably.

48. What's one car you will never buy? Buick.

49. What kind of books do you like to read? anything that won't end up on Oprah's Book Club.

50. If you won the lottery, what would you do? lines of blow off of hooker's asses. i'd probably open up my boutique.

51. Burial or cremation? shot into space. nobody would visit my grave, so why have one?

52. How many online journals do you read regularly? way too many.

53. What's one thing you're a loser at? getting laid. i couldn't get laid in Singapore with a fist full of $20s.

54. If you don't like a person, how do you show it? playfully sarcastic and rude comments.

55. Do you cry in front of your friends? no.

56. What kind of first impression do you think you give to people? what an immature asshole.

57. What's one thing you like to do alone? masturbation... actually, that isn't entirely true.

58. Are you a giver or a taker? Depends. if you're interested in sleeping with me, then i'm totally a giver. if not, then i'm pretty much a taker.

59. when's the last time you cried? i have no idea. two weeks ago or something like that.

60. Favorite communication method? smoke signlas

61. How many drinks before you're tipsy? depends. if you're interested in sleeping with me, zero. if not, 5 or 6.

62. Do you think you're cute? i'd fuck me. i guess that's a "yes."

63. Do you have problems changing clothes in front of friends? i tend to have more of a problem with keeping my clothes on in front of friends.

savage lies

so i was listening to some archived Dan Savage podcasts this morning. one episode was dedicated to allowing his female listener to pass along what they wished they had known when they were 15 years old to the girls out there who actually are 15. most of it was your run-of-the-mill "just because a guy says he loves you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him" bullshit, but one of his reader's advice caught my attention.

"The outgoing, macho-acting, good-looking guys you're attracted to will treat you like crap. The quiet, nerdy, smart, and bookish guys you are not attracted to will treat you like gold. But you may have to seek and draw them out, as they are usually shy."


while this woman makes a relatively intelligent point, she still failed to add on one important footnote to her comment - "None of this really matters anyway because all of us still prefer to date douchebags, even though we are all now in our mid- to late-20s and we should know better."

i hate stuff like this because it's such bullshit. give this 25-year old₁ female, or any other one like her in the country, the choice between a loud, obnoxious asshole and an intelligent, normal guy and she will always take the former. "Hmm, this one reads in his spare time... but this one listens to Nickelback! I like him!" tell the girls the truth, lady - you only say shit like this in order to avoid sounding like a superficial whore. if you actually believed the bullshit coming out of your own mouth, then you wouldn't still be cruising The Library₂ for guys instead of looking for them in the actual motherfucking library!1

the saving grace to my rant is i know there are a small percentage of women out there who are the complete opposite of this woman and the women like her. so as the footnote below explains. this isn't a hate filled message directed at the female species - i am for a fact one of the few male feminist out there.


<sub>1. i am speaking about a specific type of woman not EVERY woman out there


2. my non-Texas dwelling readers probably won't get this. The Library is an obnoxious trendy bar in Fort Worth. the bar itself is worse than it's non-creative name implies.</sub>

telltale signs of a good night

so to celebrate the complete craziness that started off my morning, i stopped off at the Liq-O-Rama and grabbed a couple of beverages.

in my previous post i offered for someone to come over and get drunk with me - well i couldn't wait i already started and it has started off right.

a quarter wheel of Graskaas

a bottle of Samuel Smiths's Nut Brown Ale

and a bottle of Samuel Smith's Oatmeal Stout

ACL 2008

so as things may have it - i am going to end up with an extra 3-day pass to Austin City Limits.

i don't feel like selling it - the intention of my purchasing it was a gift. so if you are serious about wanting it email me. you don't even have to go with me or hang out with me - i just want to make sure it gets used and the person using it is going cause they want to experience some great music - not just to say they went to ACL.

wake me when it's over

for lack of something better to do, i finally watched The Phantom of the Opera this weekend. i knew i was in trouble when the fucking drum machine kicked in during the chorus of the title song. i was able to endure about 45 minutes of the movie before the portion of my brain responsible for controlling emotions such as "dignity" and "self-respect" kicked in and forced me to go read instead.

this is exactly why Broadway musicals should not be turned into feature-length films. the resulting product always comes out trite and contrived. tis movie garnered a whopping 34% over at Rotten Tomatoes, which is usually warning enough to keep me away from films such as this. a few notable critics had the following things to say about this disaster:

"The big-screen rendition of The Phantom of the Opera resembles a ridiculously expensive installment of Masterpiece Theatre."

"Even the most die-hard "Phantom" aficionados might be struck dumb by the sheer level of the crescendo and camp Schumacher achieves here."


And my personal favorite:

"Lloyd Webber’s dated songs are like goth-lite for the Michael Bolton set."


the funny thing about all of this is that if you try to point out to someone who liked this film that it was actually a piece of over-stylized shit, they will most likely counter by saying that you simply do not appreciate musicals. thw logic in this claim is essentially the same as telling someone who hated the film Desperado that they just don't get Mexican culture.

people who actually classified this film as "true to the source material" don't understand the first fucking thing about theatre (the kinds with a curtain or the kind with a screen).₁ the only reason for Andrew Lloyd Webber's hefty bank accounts is due almost exclusively to the fact that this country is filled with people who think they know something about what qualifies as 'art.' truth is, crap like this is no better than professional wrestling.


_{1. i don't know the first thing about musicals, but i do know when i am talking with someone who has their head up their ass.}

highlight of my weekend

walking into a tiny little resale shop by my moms house and finding these. if you remember my previous post about converting pyrex patterns to textiles - that is the same pattern from my first conversion. the photo is a casserole dish that i am excited about but didn't have a price - so it is being held for me until they can figure out the price.

you know how i know i am gay

i just sat and watched Chasing Liberty on ABC Family

my chance encounter with a celebrity

recently, i sat down with Joe Piscopo at his home in northern new jersey. upon entering his duplex, mr. Piscopo suckerpunched me in the gut and then jovially remarked that he was just "playin with me". Piscopo, 58, is most well known for being a cast member of SNL in the 1980's and for his breathtaking work in the 1992 soccer comedy "sidekicks"...i wanted to find out who the real Joe was, the man behind the fame. this is a transcript of our conversation.

myself -well first of all Joe, i'd like to thank you for sitting down with me.

Joe Piscopo-sorry, you have to stand.

b -uhh, ok. i guess i'll stand then.

jp-(chuckles) no i'm just kiddin’ with ya. i'm a total cut up.

me -great. well Joe, back in the early 1980's you got your start on SNL along side Eddie Murphy. you were most famous for playing Frank Sinatra. tell me, how were you able to masterfully impersonate the beloved national treasure?

jp-i slept with Nancy Reagan.

i -that's it??? you had intercourse with the first lady and that's how you figured out the Frank impersonation?

jp {jumps out of seat}

jp-hey!! come look at my work out gym place where i make my muscles big and not flexy!!!

Piscopo escorted me down to his basement where he showed me his bow-flex machine. the room smelled of urine and rotting fruit. he had pictures of himself on the walls standing next to Eddie Murphy but the faces of Murphy were violently cut out. Piscopo then told me of his days captaining the USS Saratoga. i was a little confused by this point given the fact that Piscopo had never even set foot on a naval battleship in his life. when he realized that i was catching on to his little white lie, he punched me in the face and i woke up in the dumpster next to Mr. T. i don't think Mr. T being there had anything to do with my run in with Piscopo....

some people

i was at a bar recently ordering a drink. a man sidled up besides me to do the same thing. this guy looked like Rollie Fingers on a 2 month long meth binge (with handle bar mustache and all). he started talking to me about his beating of a roofing job and how he had to haul his ass up to McKinney the other day and so forth. i wasn't really paying attention. i wasn't paying attention until he pulled a week old kitten out of his shirt pocket and dropped it on the bar (all the while smoking and drinking cheap scotch). i said, "Jesus Fucking Christ that's a cat!!!" the drunken man replied, "i know i got it at the fair. i'm sure to rake in the ladies now'"

that was the saddest thing i have ever experienced in my life. that poor fucking cat, it doesn't even know how to order a drink!!!!!

We are intrepid. We carry on.

yeah so i watched Elizabethtown again tonight - no it isn't a fantastic movie. actually most everyone i know hated it - but me - i connect with it. each time i watch it - something new is revealed to me.

tonight i just left work and came home with the intent of making a felt gun while watching it and nothing else. well watching that movie and writing an email. i have yet to write that email but it will happen after this.

those of you who regularly read this blog - know that at times i am introspective and others i am flat out ridiculous. well the complete and honest truth is - behind all the sarcasm and and the silliness are insecurities. i know this isn't a surprise to anyone but i felt that openly admitting it here - would be a good thing.

i haven't spoken to my father in 10 years - the last thing i said to him was "you know what, you're an asshole" and i hung up the phone.

that was it - that was the last thing he heard me say to him - i felt good when i did it - i was proud of myself - now - tonight - i am so ashamed.

i am no different than the man i had grown to hate - it's time to forgive and forget - i have made some of the same mistakes he has and you know what - he was a poor influence for me - but i think he deserves a second chance. from what my sisters tell me he really hasn't changed at all - but i am not going to let another day go by making him think i hate him and want nothing to do with him. everyday i look in the mirror and i see a spitting image of him - i can't erase my face - i am my fathers son and i am ready to embrace that.

the email i have to write isn't to him - he is going to get a phone call tomorrow p the email is for someone who is really awesome and who has disappointed me a little but - but i think i may have done my fair share of disappointing with them.

goodnight!

i'm alot like Friedrich Nietzsche but not really...

for starters i wasn't born in the 1800's and secondly i'm not a famous philosopher nor did i not laugh when i read the title The Gay Science

but i am having a bit of problem with my existence. there's alot going on these days. there are things i love that are coming to end. decisions are being made. the people around me seem to be moving forward. or at least they're on one of those moving sidewalks you find at an airport and i'm just plain walking slowly. there's also kittens in a basket...okay the kittens had nothing to do with anything.

i woke up Monday feeling like loneliness puked on a dead end life. for the entire day it got me thinking about not the past but the future and the pursuits i wish to pursue. this thought of "why do we continue doing what we do" culminated in an email conversation with a really weird co-worker who emigrated from Mexico 5 years ago. i brought up the question of "why and what?" what is the meaning of it all and why does human kind strive for something? perhaps it's a means of distraction from the harsh ugliness of reality? perhaps its all part of something bigger than ourselves and if so, is it our own doing or is it the doing of something higher than ourselves? i know these questions seem like a cliché and guess what you're right. but they still beg to be asked.

anyhew

he responded with his own personal philosophy and it is this: i don't have the energy to ask these question and i don't care. i see belief and questioning existence as an asinine pursuit. i only care about the cold hard fact that stands before me. that doesn't mean i don't enjoy the things i do and enjoy creating it just means looking for what's underneath the surface is pointless because we'll never know and better yet, do we deserve to know?

that struck a chord with me. do what you do because you want to do it and don't waste your time questioning it...the answers may even come as you go. in other words (those words being corporate-speak) be proactive and not inactive.

after this email exchange i realized that that might be what i've been trying to do all along and didn't know. soon, hopefully, i'll be living on the other side of the planet. i've decided to do this because why the hell not...there's a cold hard fact in front of me and i've decided to use it and then cuddle with a basket of kittens

please note that some of the feelings in this post have been exaggerated to create a more dramatic tone

book reviews

i was talking about some of my favorite books in a meeting earlier today and Jody asks me.
"what about books like Charlotte's Web and The DaVinci Code"
i replied
well i think Charlotte was a great spy and and The Davinci code is probably the best book about summer camps i have read"

after the confused look left the faces of the people in my meeting i promised them all full reviews of those two books - plus the classic The Merchant of Venice.

here are the reviews up. for the sake of literature

Charlotte’s Web
By EB White
this is a very, very dark and suspenseful psychological thriller about a femme fatale spy named Charlotte. growing up as a child, Charlotte was violated by a clown. the hate and anger that boils deep within her along with a bad haircut is the basis for her being the worlds most dangerous assassin…

the majority of the book takes place in Sao Paulo, Brazil where Charlotte is on assignment to assassinate the Prime Minister of Greenland where through a connection from her dark and disturbing past is a given a key that could unlock the puzzle which will unravel game which will untangle the web which will unfurl the secret to a government conspiracy that will change the lives of possibly 15 people forever.

it's truly a riveting book with many twists and turns and webs and other such things of that nature…although the ending is a bit confusing it has something to do with pink socks and aluminum siding it’s still a thrill ride you don’t want to miss.


The DaVinci Code
By Dan Brown
The DaVinci Code is an amazing, groundbreaking and controversial book. the story takes place on Wankatawanna Lake at Camp Mellencougar where a group of rag tag kids led by a slacker camp counselor are pitted against the rich kids camp across the lake in the annual Summer Fun-athlon and yell-off.

In order to save Camp Mellencougar from being torn down, Lance, Shawn, Cody, Fritoface and Squidlips have made a hastily thrown together wager against Reginald and Harrison, the villainous rich kids of Camp Wertilliger. if Camp Mellencougar wins the Summer Fun-athlon and yell-off, they get to keep the camp and Grandpa Sandpants, the loveable alcoholic owner of the camp finally gets that liver transplant he’s always wanted. and if Camp Wertilliger wins, the Mellencougar kids have to eat worms in front of the whoring and one-dimensional girls of Camp Lillyfoot

The DaVinci Code is really a hilarious, raunchy non-stop laugh riot. you not only learn a little something about yourself but you also get to learn how to hoist a fat kids underwear up the flag pole, hoist the gay kids underwear up the flag pole and how to love. in paperback now.


The Merchant of Venice
By William Shakespeare
don’t be fooled by the rocks that she’s got, she’s still she’s still Jenny from the block. that’s right, Jennifer Lopez, America’s favorite latina superstar and booty de-jour is at it again. J-Lo plays the character of Jessica Hernandez Consuela Jimenez Juarez Juarez, a posh yet down on her luck secretary that ends up in Venice somehow…

while in Venice, she falls in love w/ a merchant who is from Venice (hence the title of course). through a series of hilarious gags such as comically falling down on the runway to bumping into Burt Reynolds to crashing a boat into a nunnery in the famous waterways of the city of love to fucking a police officer in the neck, J-Lo wins our hearts once again.

the 1st half of the book is a little slow. for some reason they get into the technical aspects of reverse osmosis but, overall it’s a thrilling non-stop, breathtaking thrill ride that is breathtaking and a thrill ride.

job update

so in my interview on Friday - i brought up Apple and how over the years they seemed to have really revolutionized marketing and advertising in the technology sector. i could sort of tell that this was bothering a few of the people from the company i was interviewing with - but i don't think they could really argue - well i just got off the phone with 3 members of the creative management team and one of those people was Ken Segall - who created the "Think Different" campaign for Apple in the late 90's early 00's.

so while i worried about digging myself into a hole - i think i might have actually stroked some important ego's. this makes me feel a little better about the whole thing.

busy week

my week is turning out to be pretty busy and a large portion of it isn't related to my current job. i've been on the phone for over an hour working out all the details of some travel. my itinerary is set. Wednesday afternoon i am flying back down to Austin to meet with the technology company again. i have a small homework assignment to complete before the meeting. then Thursday morning i am flying up to NYC to meet with the agency that was mentioned before.

to be honest i am not really sure what to think about all of this happening so quickly and aggressively - but i think it's good.

i am in the studio most of the day today and i have store walk-through at lunch tomorrow. i don't know why but i get excited when i have crazy weeks like this.

one last thing before i close my eyes

besides good food - amazing music - and lots of laughs - this weekend also provided me with some new sunglasses.

"I've just recently decided that the things we know aren't black and white."

"Because we have a moment here, let me tell you that I have recently become a secret connoisseur of 'last looks'. You know the way people look at you when they believe it's for the last time? I've started collecting these looks."

all of the sudden it seemed like a good night to watch Elizabethtown - don't know what it was that made me want to watch it - maybe the good music on the drive home - maybe it's cause i saw a guy at the truck stop that looked like Paul Schneider - whatever it is i am watching now as i work on stuff.

thank you to my friends who wished me a happy fathers day. you are awesome.

really great weekend

so my weekend started off with me leaving Friday morning heading to Austin for a job interview. i was really nervous and unsure about the interview but once i got there and met the people my nerves were gone - i spent 3 or so hours with the group i feel pretty good about it. the position is sort of working with 2 companies. one an international technology company and the other a global advertising agency. the few things that i am unsure about as far as the position goes is how that is going to work - being a liaison of sorts between two companies. the main principal from the agency was unable to be there so i am going to meet with him and some of his team this Thursday. i am pretty excited about it. the technology company is going to have another phone interview with me on Tuesday to go over their thoughts on my portfolio. i am really looking forward to that critique.

my original intent of going to Austin was to go to the Mates of State show at Emo's. so once i was done with the interview i met up with my friend Jessica since we were going to the show together with 3 of her other friends - Tobi, Cody and Madelyn. i met them before the show and we had dinner a Maudie's and it was really good. then we headed downtown where the ROT Rally was going on and oh my god i have never seen so many motorcycles in my life. i would say i haven't seen that much leather either but i have had the misfortune of being on Hollywood Blvd. on Halloween night. anyhew. the show was amazing. probably the best Mates show i been to. there was some added instrumentation and the final encore song was a total crowd pleaser and was really exciting. the opening acts were Headlights and Black Joe Lewis. both bands were really awesome. i am not sure i have been to a show where the opening acts were all really good. so overall the entire shows was unbelievable. i also want to throw a shout out to my new friend Toby for buying and burning me a copy of the Headlights album. **sidenote** once Black Joe Lewis started playing i quickly realized that i actually had their album - so i am listening to them as i write this. Saturday Jessica's friends Cody and Madelyn were having a BBQ at their new home and that was also really fun.

it was really nice to hang out with some really fun people who i could be myself around and just have a nice time. all in all it was great weekend. i had a wonderful time in Austin with everyone and hope to do it again sometime soon.

my drive home was really relaxing with good music and non traffic at all - now i am waiting for my Rhys to wake up from his nap so we can go play - until he wakes up i am off to design him a new t-shirt.

Im mobile

I am driving to Austin right now. I am so nervously excited I have stopped to pee 4 times already.

last minute change of plans

okay so i am typically a stick to the plan kind of guy - but i have had my moments of complete spontaneity. well i was supposed to go to a HH and dinner with my PR girls, my media placement manager and our vendor who take care of all of our major product placement.

well as i was shopping for "stuff" i got a call from my mom asking me what Wilwo was - cause Rhys kept saying it. i couldn't figure it out at first but i kept hearing him say it in the background - the she told me that kept handed her a DVD case when he said it - i asked what DVD it was ans she said it was just a black case with plain white cover - and then it hit me - he is saying WILCO - i freaked out and got excited. i looked at the lady next to me cause i wanted to tell someone - she looked scary so i refrained - so i texted the first person i could think of - my new friend Jessica - it was a very proud dad moment for me.

anyhew back to point of this blog

i was so excited about hearing Rhys say Wilco that i decided to go see him and hang out with him and my 4 nephews. i got to my moms and the kids seemed a little stir crazy and said they wanted ice cream. well most who know me - know ice cream is the way to my heart - so i told everyone to get in and we are going to Milwaukee Joe's - they kids were like "what is Milwaukee Joe's?" - "only the best ice cream around here" - "we like chocolate ice cream from Wendy's".

sigh

really!?!

yeah so after arguing with kids ranging from 3 - 12 that "Frosties" are not ice cream - i gave in. so we went and had melty grossness of the Wendy's Frosty and then we went to the park for a bit and played - and then finished off the night with soccer and football in my mom's backyard.

i had an awesome time with them and it really made me happy. there is just something about being around kids and playing with them that makes me smile. i can't understand why people are annoyed by children. if i didn't have one of the coolest jobs in the world and i wasn't wanting to open a boutique somewhere - i would so be a Kindergarten teacher. i think it would be so rewarding.

oh yeah one more thing - - - - - i cut my hair

Onion Who?

sure the The Onion is f'ing hilarious. everytime i read an issue, i laugh till i fall over in a puddle of my own sick but, there's another newspaper out there that in my humble opinion kicks The Onion in the jejunum....

and that newspaper is the The Weekly World News. The Onion is and claims to be a satirical newspaper with fake news. The Weekly World News on the other hand says to everyone that it's a legitimate news source. or at least they will not say that they are fake even though they are obviously full of the biggest pile of doo-doo in the media world. the reason that's so damned funny (and at this point i should expect you laughing till you fall over in a puddle of your own sick) is because for ages people have bought into the Weekly World News as being just a tabloid that reports on such breaking news as GAS MASKS PROTECT EMPLOYEES FROM DEPRESSION and the shocking discovery that MOSES WANDERED IN THE DESERT FOR FORTY YEARS: Because He Lost the Map!
. we all know that this newspaper is fake and most of us accept and understand that. but, there are those few that go to the grocery store, walk by the magazine rack and are shocked to find out that THE MAN IN THE MOON IS A PEEPING TOM!.

and so therefore, The Weekly World News is the Andy Kaufman of the media.

NOTE: This was my college thesis in it's entirety...I got a C-

"Someday, Some Morning, Sometime"

i bought new glasses tonight - well ordered them off the interweb





Someday some morning sometime, sometime..................

i have nothing witty to put here

You laugh at every joke
Drag your blanket blindly
Fill your heart with smoke

sigh

i wanted to have a really easy going peaceful night last night. i didn't get that at all. i went to run bleachers after work and ended up passing out and spending my night at the hospital. nothing really reminds you of how alone you are until your in a cold - stale hospital room with an IV and crazy beeping machines.

please don't misinterpret what i am saying - i am not complaining about being alone. that is my own choice. i just feel like there might be the potential for things to change for me in that dept. but then i get all the thoughts in my head that make me doubt everything.

i do all my talking to a blog so sometimes when i wish i could get a response back i just hear silence. again not trying to be a downer because i have an abundance of things to be thankful for. i think the last few days i have realized that maybe i am ready to take the next step in my life.

why am i at work right now? i think it is because this is my only comfort zone.

i am only sounding whiny right now so i am going to quit - shut my office door - create something.

Pyrex Love

so i am working on this kind of big personal project. well i am working in it with Jessica so i don't want to sound like this is all me - cause it's not -it's a total group effort.

i am converting vintage pyrex pattrerns into vector art so that we can then imprint the patterns on textiles.

here is the first completed pattern - "Friendship" i am also including an image of the piece. each of the elements can be used to create different patterns. you will notice my bird isn't the same as the one you see in the photo - it is actually taken from the friendship pattern on the casserole dish

fucking theivery i tell you!!!!

someone is stealing my X-Acto knives. it is making me furious a little - as much as i can possibly really get furious. i just wish the thief would ask me to buy them one - i don't mind.

so yeah i have done nothing productive today at all - well at least as it relates to my job - first off i had my tuesday meeting and this is the result of that meeting.




a really scary retarded looking owl

then i cam back and started my creative process for "Awesome Autumn" and somehow i ended up creating these guys.



i am thinking these need to be printed or something -HEY I KNOW - what about a cute little triptych?

Who bumped it up, bumped it up, bumped it, who?

good morning blog - it's nice to see you today. sorry i didn't come say hello to you first thing this morning. i had a lot to say to you but i got distracted. then i went into my meeting and got into a really heated argument with a concept with my Creative Director - it took a thumb wrestling match to end it.

yeah so i talked to my friend Jessica last night before bed - i don't really know how long we talked - the conversation started in my office at work via GChat and then progessed to Meebo on my phone and then finally back to GChat at laying on my bed (with Lego sheeets) - i tried really hard to go to bed after we were done but i was just restless - to many thoughts in my head.

so i started digging through old blog posts here and then read my old livejournal - what i thought would make me sleepy only made me more awake. i finally had to make some hot lavender tea to help calm me. i made it to bed around 3:30.

sigh -

yeah i really do want to attempt to go to bed before midnight at least once this month.

anyhew

the whole point of me telling you about reading the stuff was to show off what i found in my old livejournal (besides a bunch of douchebaggery)







stumbling across this made me smile a little bit - it led me back to reading emails and archived gchats - which made me smile bigger - and tell myself that i do believe EVERYTHING happens for a reason. you can't change my mind on this. i think the proof is slowly beginning to become more evident.

sorry for all the post today - one more and i will be done

i bought new pants!!! they are my summer wedding pants. i am pretty excited about them. the thing i am the most excited about is the pocket lining. i love it!!!! (see the last photo)

now i'm emotional.......

....i don't know what it is. i must be a sadist or something - but yeah - i think it was me recounting the past year with my new friend Jessica yesterday that made me do it.

i went back to my blog to read what i wrote on my birthday weekend. i remembered that i was writing a lot of poetry around that time - i guess i was curious to revisit what was in my mind at the time. i didn't realize how lonely i really was at that point in my life - until just now. reading the poems about women who i only dreamed that existed.

then

i found this - and it all came rushing back - that weekend in Seattle - what i was feeling - what i know i needed to do - all the self doubt - EVERYTHING - it just rushed in and hit me in the face - this was written the day before i left everyone in Seattle and came home.

i should have stopped there - but i didn't i started reading more from that week (most of it is private since i made my blog pubic) - it just opened my eyes to the confusion and solitude - but this one really made me realize - that maybe hope isn't foolish.

blah - whatever - anyhew
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someone sent me a text message cause someone who reads this told them what i was writing about - how is it that some people can be so self involved and clueless to how boring and sad their life really is - i don't get it.

reservations

wow this day has been really stressful and overwhelming - but it really isn't getting to me. i am sitting outside of the Fort Worth Stockyards shooting my circus/fall carnival concept for early fall - it is just sort of nice right now off to the side of the shoot sitting on a hay bail typing out my blog. i sort of wish someone was here with me.

so on to the real reason for the blog - as i was traveling to the shoot one of my favorite songs shuffled through my iPod - "Reservations" by Wilco from the YHF album.

i love this song on so many levels. the composition of the music is just beautiful and the lyrics really tug at me - they way Tweedy sings this song just haunts my soul in a very special way. it hasn't shuffled through in a while and i am sort of glad it took a hiatus from showing up on my iPod - but now i don't mind so much.

i feel like i have a lot of things to say - well i know i have a lot of things to say and i have written a lot of things today in private blog entries. one part of my video blog from last night i said

"you know that blog post i made earlier in the week about driving home in the dark and Ryan Adams came on and i don't know for some reason at that moment the sunroof was open and i just felt like there was hope - well that is sort of where i am right now - like a continuation of hope - that feeling i had is being carried over to today -i don't know i'm happy - i mean i have been happy and things have been going really well, but it's like there is more - just - i'm just happy"

maybe i should post-it i don't know - what i do know is i feel like there is a shift in the wind. like all the pain and frustration is all going to make sense. but there is still that skeptic that lives inside of me - that part of me that just keeps me quiet and holds things in - is it fading? can it fade? what is this?

Oh I've got reservations about so many things....

Austin

so i just got home from Austin. as you can see from the time stamp it is late. i made a video blog while i drove home but i sound like a retard so i don't think i am going to post it.


i am going to bed now - but i wanted you all to know that i am going to bed tonight feeling very happy.

YaY!

wow i look like crap

what is wrong me?

i have an immense desire to buy a sweater vest. there really is no reasoning behind it - i just really feel like i want to buy a really tacky sweater vest - maybe it is my recent nerdy hair crisis - i don't know.

i was supposed to leave work early yesterday and go to Austin to take my new friend Jessica to dinner but things got screwed up and i ended up having a chaotic day. so i was sad, stressed and excited all at the same time yesterday afternoon and it led me to creating a pretty cool initial Holiday design. my deadline was 8am this morning - i am happy to report that - for the first time in a long time, i actually hit a deadline.

i think this calls for a celebration!!!

i have also been working on a mix CD the past few days. i forgot how fun making mix-cd's are. for me it is special project. i pine over each and every song i pick cause if i am making a mix-cd it is for a pretty good reason. the song selections are complete and now i am working on the artwork. it really is super fun.

okay i am going to attempt to work on something now.


bye.

trying to decide if i should go see Joshua Radin

so i have followed Joshua Radin since about 2003 - i saw him and Schuyler Fisk playing at Fitzgerald's in Huntington Beach i never really kept up with him much but a friend of mine Matt was a tour manager for a somewhat well known solo artist and would tell me if Joshua was playing somewhere close enough for me to make a road trip out of. so i have seen him about 6 times and everytime it has been good - the only time i really though the show lacked was when he was without Schuyler. well they are no longer together and i am not sure if i really want to see Vanessa Carlton - i know i can just skip out on it but i am sort of torn on this.

he is playing at The Parish in Austin on 7/18 and Palladium in Dallas on 7/19 and the Warehouse in Houston on 7/20 - so i covered on shows. it's just i have this gut feeling it isn't going to be as intimate and awesome as it once was.

listen to me i sound like a pretentious music snob.


psh. whatever - i'm going to go scan pitchfork. :P

new project

so i really didn't want to be around the chaos and awkwardness that was going on in my office so i left for the day. my creativity had dissolved and i felt like doing something outside if the office. so i left and had lunch at the Modern and then went and started on a new project.

i did a post-it sketch in a meeting this morning that was based off of a conversation i had last week with a new friend. so i took the post it sketch and i am going to re-creatie in large format using different shades of paper with some of my favorite song lyrics printed on each piece.

i know it is hard to visualize now but when it is finally done i think it will be cool.

i am giving up on today.

i am done with today - i am leaving work now and going into hiding.

free thoughts

every human requires the basic necisities
to stay alive.

but what is the point of living
if you don't have someone to share those necisities with.

most people spend countless hours and resources
trying to find perfection

they busy themselves so much
that they never turn around to see the answer

we can research ever possible asset
to find the answer

but it was when i wasn't looking for an answer
that i stumbled upon a question

what happens when two questions converge
do they compete for the same answer

maybe that is what is wrong with all the answers
they are too busy trying to be the right one

the only stupid question
is the one that isn't asked

driving home

sigh


i just changed my status on myspace to "contemplative" - i just got home and my drive home was good. i opened the sunroof and put on mix CD and put it on random. Goodnight Rose came on and i just started singing as loud as possible. as soon as it was over i just had this huge smile on my face. it felt nice. the open road dark and mysterious - that warm thick summer air that can only be felt in Texas, in my hair. i don't know what it is but listening to good music with my sunroof open while I poorly song along makes me hopeful that good things are still possible for me.

i don't know what it is - but the last few days i have started feeling differently. smiling a little bigger. i am probably crazy and just caught in a moment. i need to just be real with myself.

Bo Diddley RIP :(

Bo Diddley, aged 79, died of heart failure today at
his home in Archer, Fl where he resided for over 20 years.




Bo Diddley, a founding father of rock ‘n’ roll whose distinctive “shave and a haircut, two bits” rhythm and innovative guitar effects inspired legions of other musicians, died Monday after months of ill health. He was 79.

what a weekend - hi monday

first off here is a picture of a man that has nothing to do with my blog entry



okay so Friday i had this schmoozefest with my VP and CEO and some vendors and it was all really boring to me cause i don't care much about how much cars are worth or blah blah but i contributed to the conversation about how i loved german autos and how BMW has always been on the forefront of design and concepts. i have almost bought one 2 times and then i really am in love with Mini on every level. so that at least made me seem somewhat interesting to that crowd. then i talked about great marketing and started talking about skateboards and snowboards and i think i lost them. oh well. free dinner and lots of Stella Artois made the night worth it.

Saturday was eventful. i spent my morning helping out my new friend Jessica get some new music and then went and got my haircut. well more like a little trim to get rid of the bulk cause i am growing it out a little - and trying something new. then i hung out with Rhys for the afternoon. while we were headed to Anthopologie to look at books and pretty window displays something falls from underneath and semi and i run over it and end up with 3 flat tires. so i wobbled my way to the side of the road and called my sister to come pick up Rhys and my 3 flat tires and take me to the only place that i could find that had 3 of the right size tire for my car. $402 later i have 3 pretty new tires on my car. the best part is when the jack fell and the car fell with my hand between the fender and the tire. it hurts but not bad enough that i think it's broken. once i had that all taken care of i went and had dinner with Dana and hung out and helped her finish cleaning up the last bits of Melissa's mess that she left before moving to Portland. after i left there i was planning on going home but ended up taking my 2 sisters out for a few hours to drink and dance and get away from their signifigant others. it was good to spend time with them, but i prefer dive bars and the whole hip-hip dance scene just isn't for me so we only stayed for 30 minutes and i talked them into going to Flying Saucer where i introduced them to wheat beer and they thanked me for it.

Sunday i woke up and made about 200 paper beads until i ran out of paper. then i had lunch with my mom and step-dad and then went to the craft store and bought a ton of paper and felt squares. then i went and walked around Southlake Town Square and did some retailing for work and then decided to go have dinner at Cheesecake Factory and then see a movie. i saw Indiana Jones cause it was really the only thing playing at a convenient time and i was a huge Indy fan as a kid and i am sad to say Lucas and Spielberg together really disappointed me.

so yeah that was my weekend - no photography except for this one self-shot.



so here i am at Monday and it has been crazy - so those of you who read this thing or know me - know that we had our 3rd round of major layoffs last week. well my boss was in Scotland all last week so today is her first day back and all i say to her when i walk by her office is "what the fuck V." - i just keep walking and she is laughing at me for my drive by F-bomb. i sit in a bunch of "strategic planning meetings" and draw pictures. my new friend that i mentioned earlier drew me a turtle and so thinking about that i drew this.

the rest of today i have been concepting designs for my holiday gift cards and finalizing my paisley and owl designs for early fall stores.

so yeah.