burying the past

hey you - yeah you - with the shovel and the bag of bad memories and secrets -

open your hands and drop everything- what you are doing is pointless - it isn't going to help - it's just a band-aid to wound that needs the be stitched. all the band-aid is going to do is stop the bleeding for a bit but it won't fix the gash - actually what's happening is the wound is just getting infected - festering more as it sits there hidden.

i am speaking to you out of experience - i had applied many band-aids and while i thought the gash was taken care of and maybe a small scar would remain - i recently found that i was wrong - the wound is still there and fresh like the day it was made.

so now i work on stitching the wounds closed - i have always said everything happens for a reason - well maybe all the sirens and the doctors rushing around trying to point out the obvious - was so that i could turn around - remove the band-aid and finally find the healing that my wounds need.

savage lies (a repost)

in honor of valentines i thought i would re-post one of my fav and most controversial blogs from last year

so i was listening to some archived Dan Savage podcasts this morning. one episode was dedicated to allowing his female listener to pass along what they wished they had known when they were 15 years old to the girls out there who actually are 15. most of it was your run-of-the-mill "just because a guy says he loves you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him" bullshit, but one of his reader's advice caught my attention.

"The outgoing, macho-acting, good-looking guys you're attracted to will treat you like crap. The quiet, nerdy, smart, and bookish guys you are not attracted to will treat you like gold. But you may have to seek and draw them out, as they are usually shy."


while this woman makes a relatively intelligent point, she still failed to add on one important footnote to her comment - "None of this really matters anyway because all of us still prefer to date douchebags, even though we are all now in our mid- to late-20s and we should know better."

i hate stuff like this because it's such bullshit. give this 25-year old₁ female, or any other one like her in the country, the choice between a loud, obnoxious asshole and an intelligent, normal guy and she will always take the former. "Hmm, this one reads in his spare time... but this one listens to Nickelback! I like him!" tell the girls the truth, lady - you only say shit like this in order to avoid sounding like a superficial whore. if you actually believed the bullshit coming out of your own mouth, then you wouldn't still be cruising The Library₂ for guys instead of looking for them in the actual motherfucking library!1

the saving grace to my rant is i know there are a small percentage of women out there who are the complete opposite of this woman and the women like her. so as the footnote below explains. this isn't a hate filled message directed at the female species - i am for a fact one of the few male feminist out there.


<sub>1. i am speaking about a specific type of woman not EVERY woman out there


2. my non-Texas dwelling readers probably won't get this. The Library is an obnoxious trendy bar in Fort Worth. the bar itself is worse than it's non-creative name implies.</sub>

i'm in a foul mood this afternoon and this just pushed me over the edge

seriously what - the - fuck!?!

this might offend someone maybe everyone but what happened to music? i just saw that the #1 song on iTunes is "Right Round" from Flo-Rida.

seriously what happened to originality? oh yeah that's right - top 40 radio and mindless music listeners. i have no problems with a cover of a song - hell most of the time the cover ends up better than the original - but to sample a hook and nothing more and capitalize off of it really bothers me.

Richard Wagner and his predecessors would be appalled.

seriously they wouldn't intentionally put rotten food in their mouths would they? so why settle for third rate - rotten music?

i know i am just being an asshole right now cause a handful of people have put me in a foul mood. but really - can someone please tell me when the last time the #1 song on iTunes wasn't some top 40, over produced garbage.

it's been so long i can't remember

writing this has calmed me a little bit - but i'm still not changing my stance

sorry for a shitty blog post