absurd

it would have been okay, if no one ever had to talk to each other - or to explain themselves - and if there were altogether other ways of doing things and getting along. but people did have to talk to each other - and make themselves clear - and this was the problem of young robert wier as he tried to walk around a room full of people he knew - half knew, & had just seen, and had never seen before

he did not trust himself; he did not trust his knees or his teeth - or even the coat he was wearing. none of it he trusted - because it was his - and he was absurd

so he walked around the room full of people - in fear of being spoken to by any of them - because then he would have to speak - and say something inappropriate - or even just plain stupid

"i should have stayed at home" he thought - as he held onto his pint glass with his tiny, untrustworthy fingers

so he avoided all eye contact - and managed not to give away his absurdity - and he managed to be ignored throughout the evening

it was as if he wasn't there

it was only on the way home that he began to think - well, that was a shame. and a great loneliness came upon him - and the whole walk home he wished he had someone, - anyone - to talk to