frosted flakes - my nemesis

i have always had a very amicable relationship with frosted flakes - ever since i was a kid watching G. I. Joe. but last week- yeah everything changed. frosted flakes are now my nemesis.
i wanted a bowl of frosted flakes late one night, which seemed easy enough.

obviously not. i should be given one of those dog collars with the built-in taser and put the fence around my kitchen.

it was a fresh box, and the bag inside the box didn't really want to open, so i tug a little harder, and not only does it rip the thing in half, about a third of the flakes end up scattered around the kitchen.

serious?

fine, its ok, i collect what flakes i can find, throw them in the trash, and continue the process of fixing myself a bowl of cereal. next its time to find a bowl, but my roommate is allergic to dishwasher soap (all kinds...windex too...weird) so there are no clean bowls as i hadn't been around much that week...i have to wash one, no biggie.

dishwashing liquid goes on the bowl, bowl goes under the faucet, bowl slips out of hands, bowl breaks into two thousand pieces, i jump back...but his kitchen is 3 feet wide so my back hits the wall and i land on a nice shard of porcelain. yeah, now theres blood (and water) everywhere. so i go, clean my foot, bandage it, and, being the stubborn idiot i am, decide that the worst is over and nothing else could go wrong, it's just a bowl of frosted flakes. a second bowl gets washed, this time successfully.

so i'm in the clear now, on my way to eating some cereal.

wrong.

i drop the milk, after it's open. maybe my hands were still a little soapy from washing the bowl, who knows, but there's milk everywhere except in the milk container and my bowl of frosted flakes. so i have to clean that crap. defiant and pissed, i proceed to eat a dry bowl of cereal.

hang on.

ever drop a spoon in the garbage disposal and have it get all shredded up, but still useable? that was the only clean spoon, so i figured i'd use it.

but the jagged edge of the spoon has the last laugh and rips up my lip...so much so that it gets stuck, and this freaking spoon is hanging from my upper lip, somehow tangled in it. i gently tug, pull and twist, trying to detach the spoon from my face, and it won't budge, so the next choice was to just yank, like a band-aid. only hurts for a second, right? wrong, because it still hurts, and it looks like i went down on a stripper at some third rate club, because i have a huge red open wound on my lip now.

a cut foot, 20 minutes of cleanup, the loss of half a box of frosted flakes and the remainder of the milk, one smashed bowl, and a big red thing on my lip that is the focus of everyone's horrified gaze the next day at work...yeah, i know what you think it looks like. freaking great.

i'm hopeless. but if your ever having a rough day, just know there's an guy out there who got worked by a bowl of frosted flakes.

about me

Name: Brandon
Age: 29
Gender: Male
Location: Texas



Birthday: 8/31
Star/Zodiac Sign: Virgo (had to look it up to be sure)
Unique talents: making faces, cartoon voices, my felt skills are phenomenal
Explain your username: it's a long story from college. basically it is a play on words. i am a designer and i get pleasure from it.

Your Past: my mom worked at a sonic, my dad worked on an oil pipeline. while passing through Oklahoma said dad met said mom while she wore roller skates and served him a coney. 7 weeks later they were at a courthouse getting married (that was December 28th 1977). 8 months later i erupted from my mothers loins (that was august 31st 1978).

Your Present: i work for a retailer as an Art Director - when i am not working i am usually crafting something or listening to music or both at the same time. i can also be found watching movies and reading books - sometimes you can find me in the corner at a dark dive bar.

Your Future: doc brown has yet to return the DeLorean to me - so i really couldn't tell you. i know i want to open up an independent craft boutique to help support local artists and craftsters.

List 3 things you like about yourself
1 my eyes
2 my crooked smile
3 the gap in my top front teeth

List 3 things others do/would like about you
1 my wit
2 my compassion
3 my creativity

List 3 things that make you a good friend
1 loyalty
2 humor
3 generous

5 things you enjoy doing with friends:
1 crafting
2 drinking
3 telling stories
4 running
5 eating

5 favourite songs:
1 Click, Click, Click, Click - Bishop Allen
2 Wonderwall - Ryan Adams
3 Maybe I'm Amazed - Paul McCartney
4 With or Without You - U2
5 Love Will Find You in the End - Daniel Johnston

5 favourite first ladies (based on personality and looks:
1Jackie Kennedy
2Ellen Arthur
3Hannah Van Buren
4Nancy Reagan
5Rosalyn Carter

My opinion on dressing up animals: if it helps me sell a product and the animal is having fun i am all for it. if it makes you feel good and coordinates with your outfit - punch yourself in the face.


The most important thing in life is: take care of your feet

If you were famous what would you like to be famous for? flirting?

If you could be a fictional character who would you be and why? Kilgore Trout - why not

You find $500 dollars. What do you do with it? put it in my pocket and run

If you could meet anyone, dead or alive, who would it be and why? Moses - cause i need to know how he felt about being abandoned

What have been the best and worst times in your life thus far? best time is when i was 6 - i had tons of toys and didn't have any responsibilities. worst times - may 12th 2007 - march 25th 2008. i completely started my life over from scratch. well not completely i didn't want to do the whole diaper thing again.

Who are you closer to friends or family? family - i lost my friends.

What is your most embarrassing moment? can't remember actually

You're sent to an deserted island to live for the rest of your life, you can only bring 1 person 5 things with you. Who do you bring, and what objects do you take? my son. a wiffleball, a wiffleball bat, pencil, paper, bottle

photography

photography is such a huge part of my life - has been for a while.

tonight i was organizing some photos on flickr and i started looking at where i started - fashion photography. i wanted to delete most of it - i almost did. but i stopped myself and kept it. not cause i am proud but cause it is a reminder of where i was then and how i can changed.

how i stopped following the ways of other photographers - objectifying their subjects - and really found my own style and niche which is natural and not staged.

road trip

i think it is time for a short road trip. work has been kicking my ass and with everything else that has happened the last month - i think it is time to get up and go somewhere.

don't know where. don't really care. maybe once i get back from my Boston trip - i might just go.

my car - a mix-cd - and the road.


sounds really appealing right now.

i'm crafty

so i spent the weekend with Dana and Melissa being crafty. it was just what i needed. so i count this as a weekend well spent. been while since i have felt this good about things. we all made felt guns on friday and then saturday we had our own personal projects - i drew and colored a turtle - he has yet to be named. i will try and get photos up very very soon.

those aforementioned ladies are pretty freaking RAD. it was good to hang with them and just be myself. nothing else. :D

I AM DONE!

i am so on the verge of just walking out of this place. why did i come into work today? i shouldn't have. fucking other department continue to go over my head and have production create store graphics without consulting me or my creative director and i have about had it. i am so on the verge of saying fuck it and walking out.

it's all beginning to become very clear - if i was ignorant i couldn't blame myself - but being naive, yeah that's all on me and i let myself fall.