i have nothing witty to put here

You laugh at every joke
Drag your blanket blindly
Fill your heart with smoke

sigh

i wanted to have a really easy going peaceful night last night. i didn't get that at all. i went to run bleachers after work and ended up passing out and spending my night at the hospital. nothing really reminds you of how alone you are until your in a cold - stale hospital room with an IV and crazy beeping machines.

please don't misinterpret what i am saying - i am not complaining about being alone. that is my own choice. i just feel like there might be the potential for things to change for me in that dept. but then i get all the thoughts in my head that make me doubt everything.

i do all my talking to a blog so sometimes when i wish i could get a response back i just hear silence. again not trying to be a downer because i have an abundance of things to be thankful for. i think the last few days i have realized that maybe i am ready to take the next step in my life.

why am i at work right now? i think it is because this is my only comfort zone.

i am only sounding whiny right now so i am going to quit - shut my office door - create something.