reservations

wow this day has been really stressful and overwhelming - but it really isn't getting to me. i am sitting outside of the Fort Worth Stockyards shooting my circus/fall carnival concept for early fall - it is just sort of nice right now off to the side of the shoot sitting on a hay bail typing out my blog. i sort of wish someone was here with me.

so on to the real reason for the blog - as i was traveling to the shoot one of my favorite songs shuffled through my iPod - "Reservations" by Wilco from the YHF album.

i love this song on so many levels. the composition of the music is just beautiful and the lyrics really tug at me - they way Tweedy sings this song just haunts my soul in a very special way. it hasn't shuffled through in a while and i am sort of glad it took a hiatus from showing up on my iPod - but now i don't mind so much.

i feel like i have a lot of things to say - well i know i have a lot of things to say and i have written a lot of things today in private blog entries. one part of my video blog from last night i said

"you know that blog post i made earlier in the week about driving home in the dark and Ryan Adams came on and i don't know for some reason at that moment the sunroof was open and i just felt like there was hope - well that is sort of where i am right now - like a continuation of hope - that feeling i had is being carried over to today -i don't know i'm happy - i mean i have been happy and things have been going really well, but it's like there is more - just - i'm just happy"

maybe i should post-it i don't know - what i do know is i feel like there is a shift in the wind. like all the pain and frustration is all going to make sense. but there is still that skeptic that lives inside of me - that part of me that just keeps me quiet and holds things in - is it fading? can it fade? what is this?

Oh I've got reservations about so many things....