an open letter to a stranger

Dear Scary Lesbian At the Supermarket,

when you dropped your change on the floor while paying for your food items at the check out counter and then bent over to pick it up exposing the very bottom of your extremely hairy back; it took every bit of strength in me not to vomit on your bags of various potato chips and box of Franzia wine you had strewn across the counter top.

i would like to have that horrifying memory erased from my brain and i would like for you to pay for it as reasonable compensation. otherwise, i will be forced to take legal action....

sincerely,

brandon