craisins

some fridays i like to eat craisins. that's right the raisin is back! in cranberry form!!! whether on the beach, necking with your ladyfriend, riding a tandem bicycle with your ladyfriend or sharing another man with your ladyfriend, craisins make for a great tasty low-calorie snack on the go!!!

when my wife left me, took my children away from me and more importantly my possessions, the only thing i had left in my life was craisins. i took craisins with me to hell and back through a machiavellian snake pit of alliances and deceit. when i was at my lowest and a tranny was easing the knife out of my vomit stained torso, the only thing i had to look forward to was death and craisins. fortunately i ate so many craisins, my wound was sealed shut by the clogging. the doctors said it was a miracle something that delicious could provide for a perfect sealant.

and now, i take craisins with me anywhere i go. yesterday i sold my car because the cult i'm joining says i no longer need earthly possessions where i'm going. the salesman bought my k-car for an extra $20 because i offered him a handful of craisins!!! i then used that extra $20 for one last round with the aforementioned tranny before shaving my head and heading to the hills to meet the master who will lead us to the happy comet...

thanks craisins!!!!!!!!!