freewriting

no more will i wake up expect life to be perfect

i am only going to look forward to the mediocre

it's not that i fell a need to be negative or see the world as fatalistic

if plan on things to merely be pedestrian than almost everything will be better than worse

i sat in a meeting this morning - contemplating all that life has thrown at me in the last 2 weeks

things will never be perfect; people will always have their faults; all i can do is grin and make sure i use my life to positively affect the lives of others.

i can't see my future - this should scare me - but i have the match lit - i am ready to burn this book of life and start with fresh white sheets of paper.

it is going to be hard

i am going to cry

i'll get angry

rock bottom will be ever close

in all reality i am terribly confused - nothing seems black and white - everyone is grey - i know there is color in a handful of souls - i hope that one day - maybe 8 or 9 months from now i will find a colorful soul to help me paint new life onto these -fresh white sheets of paper.

ask me what i want out of life
the answer is simple - i want to age well; share joy; inspire others




i see you, you see me - differently
you tell me that you love me, but you never want to see me again