shy quiet still moments

tonight i went to the wedding of my dear; wonderful friends Bryce and KC. i have talked about it briefly in this blog - mostly for myself. cause really i don't think anyone reads this. well it was very interesting. i wasn't part of the wedding party. why Bryce didn't ask me - i don't know. and i really don't care. but it was interesting to be a spectator of sorts - as a guest only - not - family or part of the wedding party. i was just there to enjoy myself - if i could.

i watched the married couples - smiling at each other - remembering what is was like the day before they got married. most of them as happy or happier than that special day for them. then i look over at my ex who insisted on being there cause she was invited - just waiting for some snarky comment to come out. a few small quips were released but all in all i left her on her own. i went to hang out in the corner alone.

i watched little girls chasing little boys - already dreaming of the day they walk down the isle.

i watched the bridesmaids and the groomsmen talking - getting to know a little about each other, since most of them really hadn't ever met before this occasion.

then i watched Bryce and KC - putting on their smiles - giving out hugs - knowing what they were thinking and feeling; FINALLY the day is here - i can't wait to get it over with and get to Hawaii. this isn't an assumption - i really know this is how they are feeling.

then i started to look at the guy in the corner - alone - there were people at the table with him - but they all were frat brothers and were remincising about old times. he was there - taking the whole scene in.

he was realizing that after all he had been through - he still had 60 years left to start living again - he had divorced himself from the negative individuals. someday he would find the right people - people like him - people he didn't have to act around.

he sat there - smiling - with an old Jimmy Eat World song in his head - My Sundown

he got it - finally!

I see it around me, I see it in everything.
I could be so much more than this.
I said my goodbye's this is my sundown.
I'm gonna be so much more than this.
With one hand high, you'll show them your progress.
You'll take your time, but no one cares.
No one cares.
I need you to show me the way from crazy.
I wanna be so much more than this.
With one hand high, you'll show them your progress.
You'll take your time, but no one cares.
With one hand high, you'll show them your progress.
You'll take your time, but no one cares.
No one cares.
I could be so much more than this.
No one cares.
I wanna be so much more than this.
No one cares.
I could be so much more than this.
No one cares.
I wanna be so much more than this.
No one cares.
I wanna be so much more than this.
No one cares.
I wanna be so much more than this.
Good goodbye lovely time.
Good goodbye tin sunshine.
Good goodbye I'll be fine.
Good goodbye, good goodnight.